I know, I already tried them myself, it's a type of a plastic cube filled with liquid that you can refreeze but coming from a blonde it would be just a plain cube of icy water that you can reusedMKJ wrote:reusable icecubes actually exist my friend. i have some
Another jokes thread, If I may
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Guest
On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback was sitting at a traffic light. Next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop said to the kid, "Nice bike you've got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
The kid said, "Yeah."
The cop said, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a taillight on that bike."
The cop then proceeded to issue the kid a $20 bicycle safety violation ticket. The kid took the ticket, but before he rode off he said, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
Humouring the kid, the cop said, "Yeah, he sure did."
The kid said, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick under the horse, instead of on top."
The kid said, "Yeah."
The cop said, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a taillight on that bike."
The cop then proceeded to issue the kid a $20 bicycle safety violation ticket. The kid took the ticket, but before he rode off he said, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
Humouring the kid, the cop said, "Yeah, he sure did."
The kid said, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick under the horse, instead of on top."
There's this guy, right, a biker. Not a real Hells Angel, but someone who likes to drive his Harley around the countryside now and again.
Now recently this fellow has aquired a real calf leather seat for his Harley. When installed on his Harley the calf leather seat is actually very soft and a pleasure to sit on. 'One more thing' the salesman says after closing the deal: 'If it starts to rain, you gotta rub a little vaseline over the seat or cover it up or something, otherwise the leather might go bad.' He hands the man a small tube of vaseline. With this instruction in the back of his mind the man heads back home.
The next weekend the weather is good, and he decides it's an excellent oppertunity to take the Harley around the countryside for a little spin. He does exactly that, and is amazed by his new calf leather seat: nothing he's ever sat on was that soft. He keeps on driving and driving until it's starting to get dark, and he suddenly realises he's also getting really hungry.
He parks his Harley down the side of the road for a bit, and thinks about what his options are. He could drive back home, but he's been driving all day and really needs a break, and more importantly a bite to eat. Or he could try and find a cafe in the area, but he doesn't really quite know where he is. Just as the man is pondering this, a local farmer slowly drives along in a tractor. The farmer stops, and admires his Harley. 'Say, excuse me, but is there a place around here where i could have some dinner?' the man asks the farmer. 'Nothing. There is nothing here.' answers the farmer: 'But i'll tell you what, my wife always makes too many potatoes, you're more than welcome to eat at my place'
The man hesitates for a second, then decides 'oh why the hell not' and agrees to have dinner with the farmer. As they approach the farm, the farmer tells the man 'Listen, there is one rule at the table. When we're eating dinner, everyone shuts up. You got that? Nobody speaks. The first one to speak has to do the dishes.' The man thinks this is a rather odd rule to have, but a quick peak into the kitchen explains it: the dishes apparently haven't been done in several years. Piles and piles of extremely dirty pots and pans lie upon piles of filthy plates. 'Right' the man thinks, 'that is a good reason not to speak'.
Coming into the dinner area the man is utterly amazed: this simple farmer has a beautiful wife, and a drop dead gorgeous daughter. Neither one of them sais anything of course, but both start winking at him when he sits down and starts eating potatoes. This goes on for a while, and suddenly the man figures 'Hey, if nobody says anything, i could probably fuck the wife right here on the dinnertable and get away with it...' So he grabs her, and fucks her proper, right on the dinnertable. The farmer looks extremely pissed off, but keeps quiet. Encouraged by his silence and still feeling somewhat unsatisfied, he then proceeds to fuck the daughter too.
The farmer looks even more pissed off now, but manages to control himself and doesn't say a word. Just as the man sits down again to eat a few more potatoes, a sudden flash of lightning signals the beginning of a huge storm. 'Goddamn!' the man thinks, 'my calf leather seat!' He jumps up and reaches in his pocket for the vaseline, getting ready to rub it onto that calf leather seat before the rain ruins it. 'OKAY' the farmer screams, 'No need for that, i'll do the dishes'.
Now recently this fellow has aquired a real calf leather seat for his Harley. When installed on his Harley the calf leather seat is actually very soft and a pleasure to sit on. 'One more thing' the salesman says after closing the deal: 'If it starts to rain, you gotta rub a little vaseline over the seat or cover it up or something, otherwise the leather might go bad.' He hands the man a small tube of vaseline. With this instruction in the back of his mind the man heads back home.
The next weekend the weather is good, and he decides it's an excellent oppertunity to take the Harley around the countryside for a little spin. He does exactly that, and is amazed by his new calf leather seat: nothing he's ever sat on was that soft. He keeps on driving and driving until it's starting to get dark, and he suddenly realises he's also getting really hungry.
He parks his Harley down the side of the road for a bit, and thinks about what his options are. He could drive back home, but he's been driving all day and really needs a break, and more importantly a bite to eat. Or he could try and find a cafe in the area, but he doesn't really quite know where he is. Just as the man is pondering this, a local farmer slowly drives along in a tractor. The farmer stops, and admires his Harley. 'Say, excuse me, but is there a place around here where i could have some dinner?' the man asks the farmer. 'Nothing. There is nothing here.' answers the farmer: 'But i'll tell you what, my wife always makes too many potatoes, you're more than welcome to eat at my place'
The man hesitates for a second, then decides 'oh why the hell not' and agrees to have dinner with the farmer. As they approach the farm, the farmer tells the man 'Listen, there is one rule at the table. When we're eating dinner, everyone shuts up. You got that? Nobody speaks. The first one to speak has to do the dishes.' The man thinks this is a rather odd rule to have, but a quick peak into the kitchen explains it: the dishes apparently haven't been done in several years. Piles and piles of extremely dirty pots and pans lie upon piles of filthy plates. 'Right' the man thinks, 'that is a good reason not to speak'.
Coming into the dinner area the man is utterly amazed: this simple farmer has a beautiful wife, and a drop dead gorgeous daughter. Neither one of them sais anything of course, but both start winking at him when he sits down and starts eating potatoes. This goes on for a while, and suddenly the man figures 'Hey, if nobody says anything, i could probably fuck the wife right here on the dinnertable and get away with it...' So he grabs her, and fucks her proper, right on the dinnertable. The farmer looks extremely pissed off, but keeps quiet. Encouraged by his silence and still feeling somewhat unsatisfied, he then proceeds to fuck the daughter too.
The farmer looks even more pissed off now, but manages to control himself and doesn't say a word. Just as the man sits down again to eat a few more potatoes, a sudden flash of lightning signals the beginning of a huge storm. 'Goddamn!' the man thinks, 'my calf leather seat!' He jumps up and reaches in his pocket for the vaseline, getting ready to rub it onto that calf leather seat before the rain ruins it. 'OKAY' the farmer screams, 'No need for that, i'll do the dishes'.