I must mix Clorox and Brake Fluid....The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...
Things I've learned from my Children (honest and not kidding):
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house
4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Child's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Child wearing Batman underwear and a
Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can,
to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a
few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a
long way
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball
hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh",
it's already too late.
<b>8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.</b>
<b>9.) A six-year old Child can start a fire with a flint rock even though
a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.</b>
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year
old child.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool
you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do.
<b>16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.</b>
<b>17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.</b>
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on;
plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department , has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends,
with or without kids.
Also, I laughed my ass off at the garbage bag parachute thing, cause when I was a kid I convinced my fearless friend to jump off his house using a garbage bag as a parachute. He crashed and there was much rolling and laughing and peeing of pants.
Poor kitty.