F*** My Life blog

[feedback]

http://www.fmylife.com/

Some hilarious stories there

[Transient]

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with comdoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

Oh my God.

[Eraser]

lol, there are some jewels in there.

[Grandpa Stu]

lol there be gold in them web pages.

[feedback]

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

[MKJ]

lol owned

[Fender]

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

[Ryoki]

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home and I was calling bingo numbers. And one woman stood up and started making noises, I asusmed she had won and I started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

[l0g1c]

Today, I found out that I am being sued for losing a set of wedding photos that I took. I lost them by being mugged on the way home after the shoot and £10,000 worth of equipment was stolen from me. FML

[plained]

heh more than a larf or so there ey!

to me it kinda sounds ike a wonder years 2012 tho!

[saturn]

I've been reading that site yesterday after I clicked Stumbled Upon. Some tragic quotes, but you can't stop glancing at other people's misery.

Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her exiting her room....my electric tothbrush in her hand. FML

[saturn]

fucking lol

Today, I went to a plastic surgeon's office with a friend. The doctor walked in and before he could look at the consult papers, he started explaining the lipo suction procedure to me. I had to interrupt him and tell him that I was only there for support for my friend's nose job. FML

[bikkeldesnikkel]

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

[Don Carlos]

ace in every way

[Peenyuh]

Today I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites- and ended up meeting my own girlfriend. FML

rofl

Winner!

[R00k]

Today, I handed my PhD dissertation, which I have spent the past year researching and writing full-time. Last night, my roommate set an autocorrect on Word that changed "neither" to "nigger." I didn't notice until after I handed it in. My professor is black. FML

[Whiskey 7]

lol there be gold in them web pages.

Classics alright

Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I’m faking to be tired and I tell my man “Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive”. He looks at me and says: “Well… we are home”. FML

[Underpants?]

these are awesome!

[FragaGeddon]

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class.

[Dr_Watson]

this is youtube material.

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

[zeeko]

[xer0s]

I find most of these to be more sad than funny...

[Fender]

I find most of these to be more sad than funny...

That's what a buddy of mine at work said.

[xer0s]

Well, some posted in this thread are a bit funny. But most on the website are just sad...

[Scourge]

You guys don't think more than a few of them are bullshit?