this made me laugh

[Don Carlos]

Some Forum :
death09 : my girlfriend broke up with me and sent me pix of her and her new boyfriend in bed
ktp753 : ouch.
death09 : yeah.i sent them to her dad

hehehehehe :icon26:

[Ryoki]

heh - i read that on bash.org today ..

[4days]

also from bash:

#596026 +(400)- [X]

<phlick>so apparently there was some tragedy in the neighboorhood involving some people dieing
<phlick>and this ugly chick, nearly in tears, says "words just can't express how many lives those people touched"
<phlick>so of course, taking the literal meaning of that i said "of course words don't. numbers do"
<phlick>and now everyone mourns and hates

and a classic one:

#171987 +(6752)- [X]

<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao

[CrinklyArse]

and a classic one:

#171987 +(6752)- [X]

<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao

That's great.

[Transient]

and a classic one:

#171987 +(6752)- [X]

<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao

I've used that one IRL with mixed results.

[MKJ]

heh - i read that on bash.org today ..

indeed, read it yesterday.
bash can be fun, but too much of it makes you feel depressed about the sheer number of nerds that are in this world

geek1: omglol i r looking for an OS that doesnt suck rhinocock and is free
geek2: FREEBSD?? yukyukyuk

[Don Carlos]

#598987 +(799)- [X]

<Sceptic> I am not going to argue mideast history and politics here. I have better, more useful things to do--such as draining the ocean with a spoon.
<David> Just out of interest, where will you be putting the water?

[Underpants?]

and a classic one:

#171987 +(6752)- [X]

<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao

I've used that one IRL with mixed results.

tell me you didn't really, you fucking social misfit
and you wonder why you break out in hives every time a vagina is near

[+JuggerNaut+]

[Don Carlos]

and a classic one:

I've used that one IRL with mixed results.

tell me you didn't really, you fucking social misfit
and you wonder why you break out in hives every time a vagina is near

I have said it too, was funny to see the looks on peoples faces...

[R00k]

Yea I agree. More people enjoy dark offensive humor than you'd expect, but it's not the kind of thing you can just try out on someone you don't know very well.

I've never heard the hitler joke before, but it's pretty damn funny.

[iambowelfish]

This one has worked to great effect in real life, though I always embellish it to pre-empt any offense, saying how I utterly condemn the actions of the pimp and the language he uses and this is just the way the joke goes. I think this only makes it funnier when I slap the guy who spots the deliberate mistake.

Have only told it to guys though.

#234970 +(4095)- [X]

<Tedward> so there's this pimp right. he's collecting money from his three ho's.
<Tedward> he goes to the first ho and asks for his $100. she says, "But I only owe you $50!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
<Tedward> he asks the next ho for $150. she says, "But I only owe you $100!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
<Tedward> now he goes to his third ho.
<Tedward> he asks for $200. "but I only owe you $150!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
<Tedward> next he visits the fourth ho.
<Tedward> he asks her for his $250.
<Thy_Dungeonman> hold on, wait a sec
<Tedward> what?
<Thy_Dungeonman> you said three ho's, not four. idioth.
*Tedward slaps Thy_Dungeonman
<Tedward> Don't correct me, bitch.

[Underpants?]

I've used that one IRL with mixed results.

tell me you didn't really, you fucking social misfit
and you wonder why you break out in hives every time a vagina is near

I have said it too, was funny to see the looks on peoples faces...

Donny if you didn't dress like an italian gigolo I would guess your experience with female genitalia to be primarily from text-books and anime cartoons.
I won't even comment on memphshit, insulting that moody knob is like booing at the special olympics.

[Don Carlos]

you like my tight pants?

[Underpants?]

jesus :ol: christ no Don, it makes my off-balance hood ornament all the more noticeable.

[CrinklyArse]

this made me laugh

#111338 +(9780)- [X]

<JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
<JonJonB> Let's see the results...

<JonJonB> "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
<JonJonB> "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

<JonJonB> A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

<JonJonB> "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
<JonJonB> "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

<JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

<JonJonB> "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

<JonJonB> The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

<JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

<JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

<JonJonB> Ok
<JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof
<JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
<JonJonB> "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
<melusine > O_______O
<JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

<JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

<JonJonJonB> 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

[Underpants?]

and amateur psychoanalising internet personalities it seems

and sense making none memphknob has today it seems.
want to start from scratch on that one, rubbing alcohol breath?

[Tsakali_]

I find that hitler joke so distastefuly funny I'll make it my priority to use it next time I'm with friends