chuck norris

[Eraser]

I actually had to read this three times before I got this joke:

Mr. T does not get headaches. That's it... that's the whole joke. He just doesn't get them.

[Ryoki]

Mr. T has a swimming pool in his garden made to the exact measurements of his body. He pities the fool who doesn't fitty the pool.

[R00k]

Mr. T has a swimming pool in his garden made to the exact measurements of his body. He pities the fool who doesn't fitty the pool.

[-Replicant-]

[tnf]

Chuck Norris can read Braille with his scrotum.

[mjrpes]

Chuck Norris once took part in a Civil War reenactment. It was the bloodiest day in American history.

...

The atomic bomb that hit Hiroshima was actually Chuck Norris's most severe and deadly martial arts move. That day he promised to never again do that move. A few days later it was confirmed Chuck Norris occasionally lies.

[mjrpes]

Hooray my program worked!!! (see above) The only reason I created it was because I had submitted facts and couldn't tell how they were doing rating-wise. So now I see one of facts has a 6.29 rating -->

"When Chuck Norris falls asleep time stops out of fear of waking him up, thus creating the illusion that Chuck never sleeps."

[tnf]

So you made that fact watcher?

Cool. What does the Dups column refer to?

[tnf]

And how do you submit new ones to that>?

[mjrpes]

The only way I can get facts is through the random page. So my script gets a random fact every time, and compares this fact to the ones that already exists in my database. If it's new, I just add it in, if not, I updated the votes/rating and increment the 'dups' column. The more facts I have, the more likely it'll be that the random one I get already exists. That's why I have that percent tracker at top which, for now, hovers at 91% but will go way way down with the more facts I get.

You can't submit new facts to my tracker. You have to submit it through that guy's page. I'm pretty lucky that the one I created is already in my database, seeing that I estimate I only have 10% of all facts available.

[primaltheory]

As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

LOL!

[shaft]

Looks like someone is trying to make a buck off ole chuck.

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

[shaft]

Chuck uses the opportunity to pimp his books...

http://www.chucknorris.com/html/events.aspx

[R00k]

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

[andyman]

hahahahahahaha tmnt