I bet chuck norris could connect to the database...

Post by **tnf** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 7:15 pm

....even when the rest of use can't.

Post by **tnf** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 7:16 pm

He probably sees this:

Warning: mysql_connect(): Too many connections in /hsphere/local/home/rawbert/quake3world.com/forum/db/mysql4.php on line 48

Warning: mysql_error(): supplied argument is not a valid MySQL-Link resource in /hsphere/local/home/rawbert/quake3world.com/forum/db/mysql4.php on line 330

Warning: mysql_errno(): supplied argument is not a valid MySQL-Link resource in /hsphere/local/home/rawbert/quake3world.com/forum/db/mysql4.php on line 331
phpBB : Critical Error

Could not connect to the database

OH SHIT YOU'RE CHUCK NORRIS NEVERMIND HERE'S OUR DATABASE.

Post by **Massive Quasars** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 7:17 pm

Computers learn how to use Chuck Norris, not the other way around.

Post by **tnf** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 7:17 pm

Viruses get chuck norris.

Post by **Nightshade** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 7:46 pm

Chuck Norris' beard is the most effective firewall the world has ever known.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 8:13 pm

Chuck noris doesn't have to double click anything, he just roundhouses the computer before he sits down and it simply understands.

Post by **plained** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 8:13 pm

the whole thing flash b4 my eyes when weze down there awile ago.

:icon23:

i rememberd raw1

Post by ek » Tue Dec 20, 2005 8:15 pm

Nightshade wrote:Chuck Norris' beard is the most effective firewall the world has ever known.

Post by **Massive Quasars** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 8:17 pm

Kracus wrote:Chuck noris doesn't have to double click anything, he just roundhouses the computer before he sits down and it simply understands.

If I could anti-laugh, I would.

Post by **CrinklyArse** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 8:18 pm

Massive Quasars wrote:
Kracus wrote:Chuck noris doesn't have to double click anything, he just roundhouses the computer before he sits down and it simply understands.
If I could anti-laugh, I would.

well said.

Post by **R00k** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 8:22 pm

Chuck Norris doesn't get error messages, he gives them.

Post by **tnf** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 8:23 pm

I'm trying to think of one that incorporates chuck norris and the blue screen of death.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 8:23 pm

Massive Quasars wrote:
Kracus wrote:Chuck noris doesn't have to double click anything, he just roundhouses the computer before he sits down and it simply understands.
If I could anti-laugh, I would.

It's called crying idiot.

Post by **andyman** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 8:39 pm

tnf wrote:I'm trying to think of one that incorporates chuck norris and the blue screen of death.

The BSOD is the last thing you see after a blow from chuck norris

Post by **tnf** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 8:50 pm

Kracus wrote:
Massive Quasars wrote:
Kracus wrote:Chuck noris doesn't have to double click anything, he just roundhouses the computer before he sits down and it simply understands.
If I could anti-laugh, I would.
It's called crying idiot.

no, because some people cry when they are happy. I don't understand this, but I have had to witness it firsthand.

Post by **R00k** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 8:53 pm

tnf wrote:I'm trying to think of one that incorporates chuck norris and the blue screen of death.

The blue screen of death was created in homage to the last thing Chuck's enemies see before they die. The first ever recorded occurrence of the BSOD came with Norris's first encounter with a computer. He used his approach to conventional books, staring it down until it gave him the information he needed. There was no way the computer could handle such raw alpha-being willpower, and turned the color of Chuck's eyes.

It was several years before developers found a way to shield the circuits from Chuck's enormous power, and by the time they did, the backlash of Norris' encounter had already caused a permanent blowback to the x86 architecture. To this day when computers encounter inexplicable errors, their only point of reference is that fateful encounter with the man himself.

Three years ago an indentured servant in Norris's estate happened across the original computer he had encountered. Apparently he decided to hold it captive until it gave him the information he had asked for -- according to the servant it only displays a solid background of blue with two flashing words: NEVER FORGET.

Post by **Survivor** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 8:59 pm

R00k wrote:
tnf wrote:I'm trying to think of one that incorporates chuck norris and the blue screen of death.
The blue screen of death was created in homage to the last thing Chuck's enemies see before they die. The first ever recorded occurrence of the BSOD came with Norris's first encounter with a computer. He used his approach to conventional books, staring it down until it gave him the information he needed. There was no way the computer could handle such raw alpha-being willpower, and turned the color of Chuck's eyes.

It was several years before developers found a way to shield the circuits from Chuck's enormous power, and by the time they did, the backlash of Norris' encounter had already caused a permanent blowback to the x86 architecture. To this day when computers encounter inexplicable errors, their only point of reference is that fateful encounter with the man himself.

Gold

Would remove the third paragraph though

Post by **Foo** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 9:08 pm

Fact: In binary, Chuck Norris is #1, and you are zero.

Post by **andyman** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 9:22 pm

When a hard drives says 'isufficient space', chuck norris tears it a new one.

^^stupid^^

Post by **Nightshade** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 9:31 pm

A hacker once made the grieveous mistake of trying to breach Chuck Norris' system. Chuck sensed what was happening and roundhouse kicked the internet. The hacker died instantly, and the aftermath became known as "The dot com bust".

Post by **mik0rs** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 9:56 pm

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked his computer when Outlook Express wouldn't let him check his Chuck-Mail, the result was Deep Blue.

Post by **seremtan** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 10:15 pm

R00k wrote:Chuck Norris doesn't get error messages, he gives them.

Post by **SplishSplash** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 10:24 pm

Some say, he afraid of bells, and his breath smells of magnesium. All we know is he's called "The Stig"!

...and now a random fact about Vin Diesel:

Vin Diesel thinks this shit is so old.

Post by **R00k** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 10:26 pm

As old as your hairstyle?

Post by **GONNAFISTYA** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 10:41 pm

Kracus wrote:It's called crying idiot.

Something you know all about you low-rent suicidal hom0fag.