chuck norris

Post by **Foo** » Sun Dec 11, 2005 2:23 pm

Nightshade wrote:
Foo wrote:
Nightshade wrote:Fucking LOL! New sig...
I thought that was the most poorly worded of the bunch
I care, deeply. Proper grammar and sentence structure are the top items on my list of humor analysis factors.

Settle down, wasn't a personal attack

Tone and grammar are at the heart of written comedy.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Dec 11, 2005 3:41 pm

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.

fucking lol

Post by **Nightshade** » Sun Dec 11, 2005 4:18 pm

-Replicant- wrote:Vin Diesel is the best one, still:

http://www.4q.cc/vin/index.php?topthirty

AND THE HEAVENS SHOOKETH AS VIN DIESEL DID BATTLE THE ROBOT. EACH EXCHANGED BLOWS THAT WOULD RENDER OTHER MEN IMPOTENT AND RETARDED BUT THEY CONTINUED TO BATTLE FOR DAYS AT A TIME TAKING BREAKS FOR TEA AND CRUMPETS AT 3 PM EVERY DAY UNTIL FINALLY VIN DIESEL DID SMITE THE ROBOT WITH HIS HEAD WHILE SHOUTING IN BINARY SO THAT THE ROBOT WOULD OVERLOAD AND BE DEFEATED.SO IT WAS WRITTEN, SO LET IT BE DONE. THIS DAY SHALL FOREVERMORE BE KNOWN AS "VIN DIESEL DAY."
- Saint John to the Corinthians 3:15

Footnote: Over time, with changes in the English language, Vin Diesel Day was shortened to "Saturday." That's right, without Vin Diesel, we wouldn't have weekends.

Post by **tnf** » Sun Dec 11, 2005 4:38 pm

Vin Diesel can divide by zero.

Post by **plained** » Sun Dec 11, 2005 4:39 pm

hey he did a finishing move through the windscreen of a celica tho

Post by **Ryoki** » Sun Dec 11, 2005 9:16 pm

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to live.

Post by **Dave** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 5:00 am

Everyone knows Chuck Norris could kick Vin Diesel's ass

Post by **tnf** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 5:09 am

This is true.

Guys like Diesel are a dime a dozen...Norris types are more like a dime a half-dozen..or maybe a quarter dozen...

Post by **Massive Quasars** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 5:18 am

Dave wrote:

I'm sure his body hair was shaved for that picture.

Post by **mjrpes** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 5:52 am

Stephen Hawking argued that there are only nine planets in the solar system. Just to prove the sucka wrong Mr. T created a tenth planet, Pitius, out of the liquid uranium he secretes from his nipples. To this day Stephen Hawking continues to sit in sheer amazement.

Post by **andyman** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 6:02 am

Massive Quasars wrote:
Dave wrote:
I'm sure his body hair was shaved for that picture.

Chuck Norris is not shaved, he is reduced.

Post by **Nightshade** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 6:03 am

tnf wrote:This is true.

Guys like Diesel are a dime a dozen...Norris types are more like a dime a half-dozen..or maybe a quarter dozen...

Chuck was the PKA middleweight champ six times, though. SUCK ON THAT, VAN DAMME!

Post by **MKJ** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 11:28 am

those lists made me smirk more than once

Post by **chopov** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 11:38 am

Dave wrote:

I'd say: too much chili...

*makes oscene fart noises*

Post by **MKJ** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 11:40 am

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

lol missed that one

[edit] dammit these lists are getting funnier by the minute. its not easy pretending to work if you have to snicker every 30 secs

Post by **mik0rs** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:29 pm

"Vin Diesel gets indigestion after swallowing his pride"

Post by **losCHUNK** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 1:07 pm

The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Vin Diesel punched himself in the face.

Post by **MKJ** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 1:12 pm

Mr T. skis uphill

Post by **mjrpes** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 1:38 pm

Chuck Norris was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run.

Post by **Transient** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 3:55 pm

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Post by **MKJ** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 4:07 pm

Guns don't kill people, Chuck Norris kills people.

Post by **CrinklyArse** » Sat Dec 24, 2005 8:26 pm

PhoeniX wrote:Chuck norris is everywhere at the moment. I even killed the fucker on BF2 earlier :E.

indeed
[lvlshot]http://img509.imageshack.us/img509/2854/chuck9qa.jpg[/lvlshot]

Post by **mjrpes** » Fri Dec 30, 2005 11:26 am

Oh boy, what have I done now

http://ciole.net/chuck/index.php

Post by **Nightshade** » Fri Dec 30, 2005 12:45 pm

If you think Chuck Norris can't rape you anytime, anywhere then you are in for a rude awakening tomorrow.

Post by **Nightshade** » Fri Dec 30, 2005 12:51 pm

Real men don't have pubic hair. They have cock beards in honor of their leader and idol Chuck Norris.

^2