- Watch a lot of TV
- Eat at McDonalds
- Drive SUV
- Nod while the president is speaking
- Nod off while Michael Moore is speaking
- Enjoy NASCAR
- Support capitalism
- Has flag on house
- Has limitless capacity for not only denying any crimes carried out by our side but not also for not hearing about them in the first place (thanks to: George Orwell)
- Has no long term memory