Old? (email I got)

Post by **tnf** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 12:09 am

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I can't seem to keep

Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)
______________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because

Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to

normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and! Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife

1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

Post by **Foo** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 12:15 am

I think the Internet was created in like 1990 and this was around in 1989.

So you know what that means.

That's right.

Post by **tnf** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 12:20 am

But the framework for the internet (ARPANET or whatever..) was around in the late 1960's...so by those standards....

Post by **Foo** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 12:25 am

By those standards.... you huge nerd!

Post by **Dave** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 12:39 am

Fixing your Wife 1.0 problems is easy: format c:

Post by **[xeno]Julios** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 12:44 am

you forgot the switch:

format c: -cyanide

Post by **mjrpes** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 2:36 am

When you reformat remember to partition your hard drive properly so you can run Wife 1.0 and Mistress 2.3 on the same computer.

Post by **seremtan** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 3:31 am

Wife 1.0 will run much smoother with a hardware upgrade

i recommend a HARD DRIVE and more RAM

Post by **Foo** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 3:32 am

seremtan wrote:Wife 1.0 will run much smoother with a hardware upgrade

i recommend a HARD DRIVE and more RAM

That's brilliant.

Do you know that could also be taken as a sexual reference??

Post by **seremtan** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 3:35 am

tnf wrote:Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support.

abort, retry or fail?

Post by **seremtan** » Sat Nov 05, 2005 3:36 am

Foo wrote:
seremtan wrote:Wife 1.0 will run much smoother with a hardware upgrade

i recommend a HARD DRIVE and more RAM
That's brilliant.

Do you know that could also be taken as a sexual reference??

sexually referential like a fox

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