Deer

[shadd_]

moose are really bad where i live. fuckers come out on the road at night when the bugs get bad. if they are looking away you can't see the reflection from the eyes.

the things are fucking massive too. hit one at 60mph, say goodnight. they crush pickups like pop cans.

[Cool Blue]

But they're goooooooooood eatin! :lol:

[Dave]

This thread made me laugh out loud for real.

Deer are extremely timid and afraid, if they dont' know what you are, they book it. Unless you're a vehicle, in which case they feel the need to offer themselves as a sacrifice to the great god Internalkombustion.

I've hit 3 deer and almost decapitated one..

20 mile drive through back roads on your way home?

No, i live in the wooded posh side of town, but I used to live in a rural area

[shadd_]

But they're goooooooooood eatin! :lol:

yeah, best out of all the others. deer, elk, caribou etc.

[+JuggerNaut+]

Does anyone know if deer (full-size female bambi-style) are dangerous when you scare them? I run at night and every other week I see a deer about a block away, and I change directions because I dont want to find out.

no. i lived in the NW for over 10 years. i know this to be true.

[glossy]

I got chased by a bull while I was on a motorbike after I sufficiently pissed him off enough. Good shit!

[Nightshade]

hehe, serious note, nah really they are harmless.

hehe, serious note, corner one and it will kick your ass.

[losCHUNK]

lol, deer are harmless you big pussy.

Nothing is harmless when you run up on out of nowhere it at 2 am. When I'm tapped out at the end of my run, last thing I want to do is challenge a deer.

cattle will also charge you down when your running =P

[seremtan]

that's what i love about britain. the only threatening wildlife is chavs, and then only if they're in packs

[eepberries]

Deer are mostly harmless, they'll mostl ike just run away, but I HAVE heard stories of deer or elk attacking a couple dumbass kids when they were fucking with them at some park

[MKJ]

where is elk anyways

[xer0s]

Dave, I didn't read this thread, but I guarantee you that I know more about deer than anyone else on this forum. I've studied and watched deer for hundreds of hours and have killed several dozen of em. There are so many around here, they are the #1 reason of all car accidents in this area. My sister totaled her car when she hit one.

This is what I can tell you. Unless you find a deer that is deaf, dumb, and blind or that has been raised around people in captivity, then you will never touch a deer. Unless of course you are all camoed up, have zero human smell on you, can sit in one spot without moving for 24 hours, have extremely good luck, and are dealing with one dumb deer, then maybe one might walk by you and you can reach out and maybe touch it. But this is a 1 in a million type thing.

Anyways, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'd be more worried about a meteor falling out of the sky and wackin me on the head, than of a deer trying to start some shit.

[xer0s]

where is elk anyways

Elk are in the Midwest.

[Nightshade]

No, Elk are still in Germany.

[R00k]

Anyways, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'd be more worried about a meteor falling out of the sky and wackin me on the head, than of a deer trying to start some shit.

Yea, don't worry about the deer man, they'll run like hell before you ever get close enough to worry about them. :icon14:

On the other hand, also don't get on all fours and lower your head and try to charge a buck with a rack. More than likely he would run away, but do you really want to take that chance?

[plained]

what hapens is when they hoove ya, it always gets that arterie in your leg :really:

glhf hi 2 u etc

[Scourge]

Harmless unless cornered or something. I'm around them almost daily and pretty much ignore them. They usually run away anyway.

[Jackal]

Does anyone know if deer (full-size female bambi-style) are dangerous when you scare them? I run at night and every other week I see a deer about a block away, and I change directions because I dont want to find out.

lol

[Jackal]

I;m not making fun of you Dave but I think that's one of the funniest things I've ever read.

[[xeno]Julios]

Dave, I didn't read this thread, but I guarantee you that I know more about deer than anyone else on this forum.

I'm not so sure about that BUDDY:

Does anyone know if deer (full-size female bambi-style) are receptive to sexual advances? I run at night when I'm horny, and every other week I see a deer about a block away, and would greatly appreciate any advice on how to initiate sexual contact with these wondrous creatures.

I find the best strategy is to slow down on approach, and then make a light throaty chirping noise for a few seconds. Then wait and remain completely silent. If bambi tilts her head in your direction, this is a good sign, but by no means does it mean that you are guaranteed pussy.

From this point on, get on your knees, and walk on your knees toward her. This must be done in a graceful manner, and it takes months of practice to master walking on one's knees gracefully. The first time you try it you'll look like a waddling cripple, and probably tip over after three steps.

No worries - you can practice this in your own time.

Now if she's up for some meat, she'll come towards you in a bouncy fashion, as you're kneeing toward her position. When you meet halfway, she'll sit on your face, at which point you have to perform some advanced cunnilingus techniques on her vagina.

Warning: the odour of a female deer is quite potent, but can also be exquisitely stimulating if perceived with an open mind (and open nostrils).

Once she is properly wet, you can approach her from a doggy-style position, and make love to your heart's content.

I'd include more details, but I have an essay to finish by tomorrow, and i've only just started.

Let us know how you fare.

Here is some inspiration: