Deer

[Dave]

Does anyone know if deer (full-size female bambi-style) are dangerous when you scare them? I run at night and every other week I see a deer about a block away, and I change directions because I dont want to find out.

[bork[e]]

like all animals I'm sure if you fuck with their kids they will flip out...but a deer would be the last of my worries while running at night, think of the children.

I've had many of these "deer" take sight of me (don't try it ) and run like hell...

[Don Carlos]

You should be fine as long you dont provoke it...

[Dave]

Trust me, where I live deer are the worst thing I have to worry about... (except cars because I run at night so I can run in the street)

[Dave]

You should be fine as long you dont provoke it...

Yeah, it's the running past it part that has me wondering. I ran past some 300 pound weight lifting dude the other night who I startled

But on the other hand, I know cattle run like pussies when you look at them funny

[shadd_]

lol, deer are harmless you big pussy.

[shadd_]

put some buck scent on and see if you can mount it.

[Dave]

lol, deer are harmless you big pussy.

Nothing is harmless when you run up on out of nowhere it at 2 am. When I'm tapped out at the end of my run, last thing I want to do is challenge a deer.

[DooMer]

No, they run. They are the most pussy animals ever. I've tried to take them down many times with my bare hands. They're just too damn fast.

[shadd_]

hehe, serious note, nah really they are harmless.

[Dave]

put some buck scent on and see if you can mount it.

Odd that you mention scent.. that must have been what I smelled. it was like a skunk (no it wasnt me) only not quite as strong. I never realized their scent was that powerful. the deer was about 3 blocks away when I started smelling it

[Dave]

No, they run. They are the most pussy animals ever. I've tried to take them down many times with my bare hands. They're just too damn fast.

In 'nam?

[shadd_]

there is a video though of some guy hunting a big buck. he musta been all scented up and the deer(buck) boxed the shit out of him.

[[xeno]Julios]

Does anyone know if deer (full-size female bambi-style) are receptive to sexual advances? I run at night when I'm horny, and every other week I see a deer about a block away, and would greatly appreciate any advice on how to initiate sexual contact with these wondrous creatures.

I find the best strategy is to slow down on approach, and then make a light throaty chirping noise for a few seconds. Then wait and remain completely silent. If bambi tilts her head in your direction, this is a good sign, but by no means does it mean that you are guaranteed pussy.

From this point on, get on your knees, and walk on your knees toward her. This must be done in a graceful manner, and it takes months of practice to master walking on one's knees gracefully. The first time you try it you'll look like a waddling cripple, and probably tip over after three steps.

No worries - you can practice this in your own time.

Now if she's up for some meat, she'll come towards you in a bouncy fashion, as you're kneeing toward her position. When you meet halfway, she'll sit on your face, at which point you have to perform some advanced cunnilingus techniques on her vagina.

Warning: the odour of a female deer is quite potent, but can also be exquisitely stimulating if perceived with an open mind (and open nostrils).

Once she is properly wet, you can approach her from a doggy-style position, and make love to your heart's content.

I'd include more details, but I have an essay to finish by tomorrow, and i've only just started.

Let us know how you fare.

Here is some inspiration:

[bork[e]]

there is a video though of some guy hunting a big buck. he musta been all scented up and the deer(buck) boxed the shit out of him.

aaha, I was just trying to remember what I saw a while back...I thought it was two "deer" boxing though.

[Dave]

there is a video though of some guy hunting a big buck. he musta been all scented up and the deer(buck) boxed the shit out of him.

come to think of it, we sold deer scent where I used to work.. I remember the smell now. Maybe some asshole was hunting them in town. I bet he would have sniped me if he had the chance. I need to rethink that running at night thing.

[Dave]

Does anyone know if deer (full-size female bambi-style) are receptive to sexual advances? I run at night when I'm horny, and every other week I see a deer about a block away, and would greatly appreciate any advice on how to initiate sexual contact with these wondrous creatures.

I find the best strategy is to slow down on approach, and then make a light throaty chirping noise for a few seconds. Then wait and remain completely silent. If bambi tilts her head in your direction, this is a good sign, but by no means does it mean that you are guaranteed pussy.

From this point on, get on your knees, and walk on your knees toward her. This must be done in a graceful manner, and it takes months of practice to master walking on one's knees gracefully. The first time you try it you'll look like a waddling cripple, and probably tip over after three steps.

No worries - you can practice this in your own time.

Now if she's up for some meat, she'll come towards you in a bouncy fashion, as you're kneeing toward her position. When you meet halfway, she'll sit on your face, at which point you have to perform some advanced cunnilingus techniques on her vagina.

Warning: the odour of a female deer is quite potent, but can also be exquisitely stimulating if perceived with an open mind (and open nostrils).

Once she is properly wet, you can approach her from a doggy-style position, and make love to your heart's content.

I'd include more details, but I have an essay to finish by tomorrow, and i've only just started.

Let us know how you fare.

Here is some inspiration:

You should have a tv show like Steve Irwin. You and raw's brother could make a great team.

[shadd_]

i took a quick look but all i found was this http://www.holylemon.com/DeerBoxing.html

same deal except one was a hunter.

[Cool Blue]

This thread made me laugh out loud for real.

Deer are extremely timid and afraid, if they dont' know what you are, they book it. Unless you're a vehicle, in which case they feel the need to offer themselves as a sacrifice to the great god Internalkombustion.

[Cool Blue]

Elk on the other hand....

[Dave]

Elk on the other hand....

Yeah, if it were an elk i would have started walking the other direction towards the cop shop about a block away and got someone's gun, then walked home

[Dave]

This thread made me laugh out loud for real.

Deer are extremely timid and afraid, if they dont' know what you are, they book it. Unless you're a vehicle, in which case they feel the need to offer themselves as a sacrifice to the great god Internalkombustion.

I've hit 3 deer and almost decapitated one.. I've never encountered one up close on foot. I have scared the shit out of plenty of cattle though

[bork[e]]

This thread made me laugh out loud for real.

Deer are extremely timid and afraid, if they dont' know what you are, they book it. Unless you're a vehicle, in which case they feel the need to offer themselves as a sacrifice to the great god Internalkombustion.

I've hit 3 deer and almost decapitated one..

20 mile drive through back roads on your way home?

[Cool Blue]

Yeah, they're dangerous at night when you're driving.

I have relatives on that live in the country and they lose cars almost annually to deer... incidents.

[netrex]

You should be fine as long you dont provoke it...

But on the other hand, I know cattle run like pussies when you look at them funny

Was running on a road in a valley and you couldn't really get far away from the road because of the steep hills on the sides of the road at the point I where I met a lot of cows. They were mostly on the side of the road when I passed, and on the return journey one of them were in the middle of the road looking like it tried to block it, so I went into the ditch to pass it without being to close, and it started after me.. I don't think I've ever run so fast before or after :icon32: Me having lived only in cities and places with no cows around had no idea how fast the were or weren't, so it felt safer to just get away fast.