What kind of friend puts a padlock on your balls?

Post by **emoticon** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 9:13 pm

Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock
Man Could Not Remove Lock For Two Weeks

POSTED: 3:02 pm CDT August 5, 2005
UPDATED: 3:15 pm CDT August 5, 2005

BRENTWOOD, N.H. -- Emergency workers helped a New Hampshire man out of a difficult situation over the weekend after a friend apparently locked a padlock around his testicles.

According to the Portsmouth Herald, police reported that the 39-year-old man was intoxicated when they arrived at the scene on July 30 at about 3:40 a.m. The man, who was not identified, told them that he had the padlock around his testicles for two weeks.

The man said that a friend put the lock on while he was drunk and passed out. When he woke up, the friend was gone.

"Never in my 13 years have I seen anything like this," Cpl. H.D. Wood told the Herald.

The man told police that he tried to remove the lock with a hacksaw because the key had broken off in the lock.

He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith removed the padlock. He was treated and released, and the hospital said he had no lasting injury.

Police said that they did not know the motive for the incident.
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http://www.ksat.com/news/4815844/detail.html

Post by **Cool Blue** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 9:26 pm

:lol:

That's funny shit.

Post by **Cooldown** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 9:27 pm

:icon19:

Post by **Brian Slade** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 9:28 pm

:lol:

Post by **CrinklyArse** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 9:42 pm

:lol:

Post by **brisk** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 9:42 pm

"hacksaw"
"testicles"
"no"

Post by **ppp** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 9:43 pm

Damn, after 2 whole weeks, that exrtra weight on the nutsack could cause people walking behind you to accidently step on your goolies

Post by **shadd_** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 9:52 pm

fuck yeah, working that close with two nuts and an asshole deserves some respect.

Post by **R00k** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 9:58 pm

Jesus. :lol:

That guy has a world class ass-beating coming his way I hope.

Post by **ilumos** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 10:10 pm

Ahaha, fucking genius!

It took two weeks for him to go and admit his problem, even funnier!

:icon19:

Post by **chopov** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 10:34 pm

emoticon wrote:... The man said that a friend put the lock on while he was drunk and passed out. When he woke up, the friend was gone.

Sure, a friend....

:lol:

Post by **eepberries** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 10:45 pm

:icon19:

Post by **seremtan** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 11:31 pm

chopov wrote:
emoticon wrote:... The man said that a friend put the lock on while he was drunk and passed out. When he woke up, the friend was gone.
Sure, a friend....

:lol:

lol, exactly. more like his cock mistress punishing him for not finishing the housework to her satisfaction.

which reminds me: we need geoff back

Post by **corncobman** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 11:32 pm

:icon19:

Hahahaha funny shit

Post by **lars63** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 11:35 pm

Lord!!!! *lol*

Post by **Transient** » Sat Aug 06, 2005 12:49 am

The fact that he tried to remove it with a hacksaw means he must originally be from the south. :lol:

What a dumbfuck.

Post by **Scourge** » Sat Aug 06, 2005 2:27 am

Transient wrote:The fact that he tried to remove it with a hacksaw means he must originally be from the south. :lol:

What a dumbfuck.

:icon6: I'm from the south, I wouldn't use a hacksaw. A torch would be much better. It'll cut faster.

Post by **Pooinyourmouth** » Sat Aug 06, 2005 2:56 am

Now that's what I call locking up the family jewels.

Budum pshhhh

Post by **Scourge** » Sat Aug 06, 2005 3:25 am

Or boltcutters. But you'd have to be careful not to cut the bolt or the nuts in this case.

Post by **emoticon** » Sat Aug 06, 2005 3:31 am

Padlocks, combination locks and keyed locks to provide strength and security. Master Cock is committed to offering a broad selection of locks, padlocks, combination locks, keyed locks, cables and hasps to fit any lifestyle.

Copyright © 2003 Master Cock Company

Post by **raw** » Sat Aug 06, 2005 6:23 am

Post by **Scourge** » Sat Aug 06, 2005 6:27 am

Do they have to ride shotgun?

Post by **raw** » Sat Aug 06, 2005 6:29 am

No, I drag them behind me in a little, red caboose.

Post by **Scourge** » Sat Aug 06, 2005 6:33 am

Well at least you can still get a blow job driving down the street.

Post by **raw** » Sat Aug 06, 2005 6:35 am

FYI - A blow job actually means sucking on a dick. Ball sucking doesn't mean getting a blow-job which leads me to my next line of questioning....

Have you ever had a blow job? The above statement leads me to believe not. :lol:

What kind of friend puts a padlock on your balls?

What kind of friend puts a padlock on your balls?

Re: What kind of friend puts a padlock on your balls?

Re: What kind of friend puts a padlock on your balls?