A gamer's manifesto

Post by **Grudge** » Mon May 23, 2005 4:00 pm

What do we want from the next generation of games?

Post by **AmIdYfReAk** » Mon May 23, 2005 4:08 pm

mostly boobies.... in high-def..

Post by **reefsurfer** » Mon May 23, 2005 4:15 pm

The A.I part are right on the nail.

Post by **Grudge** » Mon May 23, 2005 4:19 pm

come on everybody, read it. it's pretty funny

Post by **AmIdYfReAk** » Mon May 23, 2005 4:22 pm

ohh snap! its actually a link!

Post by **Pext** » Mon May 23, 2005 4:24 pm

on the concern of boobies:

yes, high-def - but with havoc physics applied to them... bouncing and shaking :icon14:

Post by **AmIdYfReAk** » Mon May 23, 2005 4:24 pm

Agreed.

Post by **Nightshade** » Mon May 23, 2005 4:41 pm

Fucking LOL!

Exclusive sports licenses. Say goodbye to NFL football anywhere but with EA. That's right, they signed a deal with the NFL saying nobody could make games but them. So every other pro football game, including Sega's, will be back to using fictional teams so get ready to play as the Dallas Zombies with all-star QB Cletus Fuckhat.

Cletus Fuckhat :lol:

Post by **saturn** » Mon May 23, 2005 5:15 pm

Instant-Failure Stealth Levels. Ack. This brings back horrible memories of a Goldeneye level where if you tripped an alarm, an infinite number of bad guys poured forth. We knew a man who failed that level 37 times, then got the Infinite Health cheat for it and came back. He intentionally tripped the alarm, the guards rushed out. Laughing maniacally, he proceeded to shoot those fuckers for four hours, killing 1,183 of them - 682 with groin shots - before his thumbs cramped up. Your game should not create this kind of bitterness.

you can't jump over a knee-high stone because THERE IS NO FUCKING JUMPING IN THE GAME. (Lord of the Rings)

There is not one single reason in the known universe for even one more game where the save point is ten motherfucking minutes away from the boss, forcing me to fight my way down the same hallway each of the 62 attempts it takes me to beat the guy (I'm looking at you, Metroid Prime).

What a great read, I was laughing and bitterly nodding in agreement with the author on all points.

Post by **dzjepp** » Mon May 23, 2005 5:17 pm

rofl, I remember killing 400 or so baddies in goldeneye before figuring out they just keep coming no matter what. So I would creep around doorways and shit. Was pretty good at keeping them at bay too. But then on the later levels even more fuckers came out. So I usually ran to the end once the coast was clear.

EDIT: Anyone remember that outdoor night mission with the sattelite bit in it? Once you trip the alarm best bet was to hide in the fucking upstairs part of the satellite hangar and you had to wait there for 30 minutes before the coast was clear... but not for a long time.

Post by **4days** » Mon May 23, 2005 5:30 pm

good read :icon14:

"If you have a single level where the player's character is required to run toward the camera, send the fucker back for more programming because you're not done yet."

Post by **Pext** » Mon May 23, 2005 5:43 pm

Nightshade wrote:Cletus Fuckhat :lol:

yeah... this one got me laughing, too :icon19:

Post by **Pext** » Mon May 23, 2005 5:46 pm

AmIdYfReAk wrote:Agreed.

final fantasy x allready has it

Post by **AmIdYfReAk** » Mon May 23, 2005 5:49 pm

thats one of the only reasons why i played it

Post by **Pext** » Mon May 23, 2005 5:53 pm

AmIdYfReAk wrote:thats one of the only reasons why i played it

from a nerd point of view, lulu was a hottie

Post by **R00k** » Mon May 23, 2005 6:57 pm

haha, great article. :icon14:

Post by **MKJ** » Mon May 23, 2005 7:09 pm

4days wrote:good read :icon14:

"If you have a single level where the player's character is required to run toward the camera, send the fucker back for more programming because you're not done yet."

adds to the tension
gamedesign 101

Post by **Stoner** » Mon May 23, 2005 7:11 pm

Nice read.

Post by **[xeno]Julios** » Mon May 23, 2005 7:41 pm

hah that was awesome

Post by **AmIdYfReAk** » Mon May 23, 2005 7:54 pm

Pext wrote:
AmIdYfReAk wrote:thats one of the only reasons why i played it
from a nerd point of view, lulu was a hottie

so what your saying, is from YOUR point of view.

Post by **tnf** » Mon May 23, 2005 11:32 pm

hahah...

And this is years after analysts told developers that women would happily play games if they didn't feel so objectified by them, and several decades past the point where they should have even needed to be told that. Have you guys ever met a woman? Then why don't you try making just a few games that don't play off of a 14 year-old male's idea of womanhood on the apparent hope that he'll play the game one-handed?

Post by **SOAPboy** » Mon May 23, 2005 11:47 pm

Great read

Post by **Pext** » Tue May 24, 2005 12:03 am

tnf wrote:hahah...

And this is years after analysts told developers that women would happily play games if they didn't feel so objectified by them, and several decades past the point where they should have even needed to be told that. Have you guys ever met a woman? Then why don't you try making just a few games that don't play off of a 14 year-old male's idea of womanhood on the apparent hope that he'll play the game one-handed?

because games are made by nerds. let's face it.

possibly, at some point in the future, real intellectuals will deal with games, giving us some better results and real human interaction.
but this is not going to happen as long as the actual creation of engine, graphics etc. are the most important part of the development.
if there ever will be an easy tool for instant game creation this time might come. the more people are involved in writing a story, the less sophisticated it will be. plus sophisticated stories and complex characters are not exactly what the average games is capable of dealing with, ...

Post by **Furtive** » Tue May 24, 2005 12:05 am

strafe jumping

Post by **^misantropia^** » Tue May 24, 2005 12:59 am

Pext wrote:because games are made by nerds.

Nope, games are made by people in suits these days. It's just that nerds do the actual work.