It's quite a shame that Alex is so busy these days, I wish it was easier for me to make more friends that way I'm not so bored even when I'm busy. In any case I do indeed love her but it gets depressing at times because she is afraid to trust my love. Unlike her previous boyfriends however, my love is unconditional and not controlling. In fact I would consider their love to be more infatuation and personal gain than anything else. I wish I could kick their asses for that. It's too bad that the only man who really loved her died getting hit by a train; I don't know how I'm ever going to live up to him. I guess I will have to prove it over the test of time. After all, I did make an oath with God promising that I would never do any of those things to her that the others did and that I would do whatever I can to help, love and comfort her. Speaking of which I did tell her about the help and she says she doesn't need it. It's a bit disconcerting.