Somethings some yank said about the UK

[Doombrain]

I was in England again a few weeks ago, mostly in small towns, but here's some of what I learned:
* Almost everyone is very polite
* The food is generally outstanding
* There are no guns
* There are too many narrow stairs
* Everything is just a little bit different
* The pubs close too early
* Pubs are not bars, they are community living rooms.
* You'd better like peas, potatoes and sausage
* Refrigerators and washing machines are very small
* Everything is generally older, smaller and shorter
* There are very well behaved dogs everywhere
* People don't seem to be afraid of their neighbors or the government
* Their paper money makes sense, the coins don't
* Everyone has a washing machine but driers are rare
* The reason they drive on the left is because all their cars are built backwards
* Hot and cold water faucets. Remember them?
* Pants are called "trousers", underwear are "pants" and sweaters are "jumpers"
* The bathroom light is a string hanging from the ceiling
* "Fanny" is a naughty word, as is "shag"
* All the signs are well designed with beautiful typography and written in full sentences with proper grammar.
* There's no dress code
* Doors close by themselves, but they don't always open
* They eat with their forks upside down
* English are as crazy about their gardens as Americans are about cars
* They don't use facecloths or napkins
* The wall outlets all have switches, some don't do anything.
* There are hardly any cops or police cars.
• There are 5,000 year old rocks still standing around. No one is sure why
* When you do see police they seem to be in male & female pairs and often smiling
* Black people are just people: they didn't quite do slavery here
* Everything comes with chips, which are French fries. You put vinegar on them
* Cookies are "biscuits" and potato chips are "crisps"
* HP sauce is better then catsup
* Obama is considered a hero, Bush is considered an idiot.
* After fish and chips, curry is the most popular food
* The water controls in showers need detailed instructions
* Folks don't always lock their bikes
* It's completely normal to see people dressing different and speaking different languages
* Electronic devices work fine with just a plug adapter.
* Nearly everyone is better educated then we are
* If someone buys you a drink you must do the same.
* There are no guns
* Look right, walk left
* It's not that hard to eat with the fork in your left hand with a little practice. If you don't, everyone knows you're an American
* Many of the roads are the size of our sidewalks
* There's no AC.
* Instead of turning the heat up, you put on a jumper
* Gas is "petrol", it costs about $7 a gallon and is sold by the liter
* If you speed on a motorway, you get a ticket. Always.
* You don't have to tip, really!
* Scotland, Wales, Ireland and Cornwall really are different countries
* Everyone here has a passport, only 14% of Americans do.
* You pay the price marked on products because the taxes (VAT) are built in.
* Walking is the national pastime
* Their TV looks and sounds much better then ours
* They took the street signs down during WWII but haven't put them all back up yet.
* Everyone enjoys a good joke
* There are no guns
* Dogs are very well behaved and welcome everywhere
* There are no window screens
* You can get on a bus and end up in Paris.
* Everyone knows more about our history then we do
* Radio is still a big deal. The BBC is quite good
* The newspapers can be awful
* Everything costs the same but our money is worth less so you have to add 50% to the price to figure what you're paying
* Beer comes in large, completely filled, actual pint glasses and the closer the brewery the better the beer
* Butter and eggs aren't refrigerated
* The beer isn't warm, each style is served at the proper temperature
* Cider (alcoholic) is quite good.
* Excess cider consumption can be very painful.
* The universal greeting is "Cheers" (pronounced "cheeahz" unless you are from Cornwall, then it's "chairz")
* The money is easy to understand: 1-2-5-10-20-50 pence, then-£1-£2-£5-£10, etc bills. There are no quarters.
* Their cash makes ours look like Monopoly money.
* Cars don't have bumper stickers
* Most doorknobs, buildings and tools are older than America
* By law, there are no crappy, old cars
* When the sign says something was built in 456, they didn't lose the "1"
* BBC 4 is NPR
* Everything closes at 1700 (5pm)
* Very few people smoke
* You're defined by your accent
* No one in Cornwall knows what a Cornish Game Hen is
* Soccer is a religion, religion is a sport
* Europeans dress better then the British, we dress worse
* The trains work: a three minute delay is regrettable
• Drinks don't come with ice
* There are far fewer fat English people
* There are a lot of healthy old folks wandering around participating in life instead of hiding at home watching tv.
* If you're over 60 and English, you get free bus, rail travel and tv.
* Displaying your political or religious affiliation is considered very bad taste
* Every pub has a pet drunk
* Their healthcare works, but they still bitch about it.
* Cake is one of the major food groups.
* Their coffee is mediocre but their tea is wonderful.
* There are still no guns
* Towel warmers!
* Cheers

[SoM]

well that couldn't be scared? since he can't afford to visit the UK

small town? if scared? "could" go it would be farms

nn

[MKJ]

an Amcerican commenting on English coffee.

[Doombrain]

Ikr?

[Κracus]

TL;DR

[losCHUNK]

TL;DR

Thanks for letting us know

[Κracus]

You're welcome, you should post an essay about why you care.

[losCHUNK]

Why do you care that I care ?

Inceptionated

[Κracus]

I don't, anyone with a brain knows I'm just trying to waste your time and that I wouldn't read it.

[losCHUNK]

I'm honoured you care

[Doombrain]

trying to waste your time

You got that right.

[seremtan]

* Their coffee is mediocre but their tea is wonderful.

i'd argue the opposite. tea is mediocre, but if you're drinking shit coffee then you only have yourself to blame for not getting a moka pot and an education

[Doombrain]

Lots of the points are very true. it's not a troll!

And I come from a farming family so tea is not a science.

[Transient]

I don't, anyone with a brain knows I'm just trying to waste your time and that I wouldn't read it.

[Whiskey 7]

Lots of truth and I do like this one... Most doorknobs, buildings and tools are older than America
and I have often thought ..... The water controls in showers need detailed instructions

[LawL]

*Some things

[PhoeniX]

[youtube]XF0w5L0ZsVs[/youtube]

FYI

[seremtan]

she's like a throwback to the days when women weren't funny

[surgeon62]

* After fish and chips, curry is the most popular food

Could someone please explain

[seremtan]

yeah i'm pretty sure fish and chips isn't the favourite food here. probably Indian and Italian

[duffman91]

No bumper stickers!? I cannot imagine a world without them.

[seremtan]

brits virtue signal in their own special way