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What kind of friend puts a padlock on your balls?

Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 9:13 pm
by emoticon
Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock
Man Could Not Remove Lock For Two Weeks

POSTED: 3:02 pm CDT August 5, 2005
UPDATED: 3:15 pm CDT August 5, 2005

BRENTWOOD, N.H. -- Emergency workers helped a New Hampshire man out of a difficult situation over the weekend after a friend apparently locked a padlock around his testicles.

According to the Portsmouth Herald, police reported that the 39-year-old man was intoxicated when they arrived at the scene on July 30 at about 3:40 a.m. The man, who was not identified, told them that he had the padlock around his testicles for two weeks.

The man said that a friend put the lock on while he was drunk and passed out. When he woke up, the friend was gone.

"Never in my 13 years have I seen anything like this," Cpl. H.D. Wood told the Herald.

The man told police that he tried to remove the lock with a hacksaw because the key had broken off in the lock.

He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith removed the padlock. He was treated and released, and the hospital said he had no lasting injury.

Police said that they did not know the motive for the incident.
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http://www.ksat.com/news/4815844/detail.html

Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 9:26 pm
by Cool Blue
:lol:

That's funny shit.

Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 9:27 pm
by Cooldown
:icon19:

Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 9:28 pm
by Brian Slade
:lol:

Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 9:42 pm
by CrinklyArse
:lol:

Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 9:42 pm
by brisk
"hacksaw"
"testicles"
"no"

Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 9:43 pm
by ppp
Damn, after 2 whole weeks, that exrtra weight on the nutsack could cause people walking behind you to accidently step on your goolies

Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 9:52 pm
by shadd_
fuck yeah, working that close with two nuts and an asshole deserves some respect.

Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 9:58 pm
by R00k
Jesus. :lol:

That guy has a world class ass-beating coming his way I hope.

Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 10:10 pm
by ilumos
Ahaha, fucking genius!

It took two weeks for him to go and admit his problem, even funnier!

:icon19:

Re: What kind of friend puts a padlock on your balls?

Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 10:34 pm
by chopov
emoticon wrote:... The man said that a friend put the lock on while he was drunk and passed out. When he woke up, the friend was gone.
Sure, a friend....

:lol:

Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 10:45 pm
by eepberries
:icon19:

Re: What kind of friend puts a padlock on your balls?

Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 11:31 pm
by seremtan
chopov wrote:
emoticon wrote:... The man said that a friend put the lock on while he was drunk and passed out. When he woke up, the friend was gone.
Sure, a friend....

:lol:
lol, exactly. more like his cock mistress punishing him for not finishing the housework to her satisfaction.

which reminds me: we need geoff back

Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 11:32 pm
by corncobman
:icon19:

Hahahaha funny shit

Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 11:35 pm
by lars63
Lord!!!! *lol*

Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 12:49 am
by Transient
The fact that he tried to remove it with a hacksaw means he must originally be from the south. :lol:

What a dumbfuck.

Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 2:27 am
by Scourge
Transient wrote:The fact that he tried to remove it with a hacksaw means he must originally be from the south. :lol:

What a dumbfuck.
:icon6: I'm from the south, I wouldn't use a hacksaw. A torch would be much better. It'll cut faster.

Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 2:56 am
by Pooinyourmouth
Now that's what I call locking up the family jewels.

Budum pshhhh

Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 3:25 am
by Scourge
Or boltcutters. But you'd have to be careful not to cut the bolt or the nuts in this case.

Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 3:31 am
by emoticon
Padlocks, combination locks and keyed locks to provide strength and security. Master Cock is committed to offering a broad selection of locks, padlocks, combination locks, keyed locks, cables and hasps to fit any lifestyle.

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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 6:23 am
by raw
They'd have to put The Club© on my balls. They are suffering from elephantitis.

Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 6:27 am
by Scourge
Do they have to ride shotgun?

Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 6:29 am
by raw
No, I drag them behind me in a little, red caboose.

Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 6:33 am
by Scourge
Well at least you can still get a blow job driving down the street.

Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 6:35 am
by raw
FYI - A blow job actually means sucking on a dick. Ball sucking doesn't mean getting a blow-job which leads me to my next line of questioning....

Have you ever had a blow job? The above statement leads me to believe not. :lol: