Quake3World

As one or two of you may know, I've been working on a basis for a comic I want to illustrate. Info here. Now before anybody jumps to the keyboard and posts, I know for a fact that my proportioning and perspective needs work. I also need to be able to draw Men, Cars, Buildings, etc. Although, sadly, I'm running dry on ideas for my three main characters.

The first character, who is pretty much based off of myself, ten years into the future, in the way I would imagine the future to be like (at least the way it might be in ten years I guess). Ryan is a chain smoking, fast car driving, anarchist vigilante. This character also has a partner, at the moment her name is Julie and she's your basic white female, which is where I've stopped. I want to change that, already I'm seeing too many cliche's. I want to keep his partner female, but the name, her look, it must change. This is where I ask for ideas, to anyone who's intelligent and/or experienced, where should I go with this?

I also have the third character, who is an evil, female overlord(i guess), who managed to overthrow the current government and build a country that was once free (or so that's what they wanted you to think anyway), into a slave driven, poverty stricken, hell. Now, does that also seem too cliche'? Has that been done to death? Should I redo the story? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!? But yea, tell me what you think, even if all you feel like doing is flaming and acting retarded.

edit: There.

paragraphs would be nice

All comics are political.

Have a better idea?

lol, deviantart

Zerofactor wrote:Have a better idea?

No, it was simply a comment, not a critique.

Zerofactor wrote:
edit: There.

much better,
i took the time to read it seeing as it wasnt just a 'block' of words

busetibi wrote:

Zerofactor wrote:
edit: There.

much better,
i took the time to read it seeing as it wasnt just a 'block' of words

dyslexic much ?

not really, if someone cant take the time to submit it correctly, i will not read it

Rather than an anarchist vigilante, could this Ryan character be some sort of Wiccan collectivist?

an anarchist vigilante - someone who goes around performing random acts of kindness to criminals?

stick to stereotypes for your first story. if you can write something solid and entertaining using tried and tested methods, then you can start innovating - that's not really a hard and fast rule, but you'd need to be very confident in what you're doing not to obey it.

OK let's see if any of these ideas can re-invigorate your concept.

Ryan comes from a background of privilege, (hence the money for the fast cars and his vigilante armoury) but he hates this about himself, and keeps it from others. Basically he bites the hand that feeds him.

The partner should be neither tough, sassy nor overtly sexy. She lacks confidence, but might be able to make something of herself if Ryan didn't keep putting her down.

Ryan knows this and hates himself for treating her badly, but finds it difficult to change his behaviour. He hopes that his dangerous lifestyle will kill him and she will move on and find some nice guy to settle down with.

Of course all these things would be up for change as the story progresses.

Also the overlord should not be some glamourous whip-cracking dominatrix type but rather a self-serving old woman like Margaret Thatcher.

iambowelfish wrote:OK let's see if any of these ideas can re-invigorate your concept.

Ryan comes from a background of privilege, (hence the money for the fast cars and his vigilante armoury) but he hates this about himself, and keeps it from others. Basically he bites the hand that feeds him.

The partner should be neither tough, sassy nor overtly sexy. She lacks confidence, but might be able to make something of herself if Ryan didn't keep putting her down.

Ryan knows this and hates himself for treating her badly, but finds it difficult to change his behaviour. He hopes that his dangerous lifestyle will kill him and she will move on and find some nice guy to settle down with.

Of course all these things would be up for change as the story progresses.

Also the overlord should not be some glamourous whip-cracking dominatrix type but rather a self-serving old woman like Margaret Thatcher.

wouldn't it be great if you could patent that for 7 years?

iambowelfish wrote:OK let's see if any of these ideas can re-invigorate your concept.

Ryan comes from a background of privilege, (hence the money for the fast cars and his vigilante armoury) but he hates this about himself, and keeps it from others. Basically he bites the hand that feeds him.

The partner should be neither tough, sassy nor overtly sexy. She lacks confidence, but might be able to make something of herself if Ryan didn't keep putting her down.

Ryan knows this and hates himself for treating her badly, but finds it difficult to change his behaviour. He hopes that his dangerous lifestyle will kill him and she will move on and find some nice guy to settle down with.

Of course all these things would be up for change as the story progresses.

Also the overlord should not be some glamourous whip-cracking dominatrix type but rather a self-serving old woman like Margaret Thatcher.

lol that's interesting, although your idea for the evil woman sounds like Mom from Futurama.

Ok, so last night while I was stocking shelves and getting bitched at by my manager for talking to this girl and taking an extra fifteen minute break, I thought of a way I might be able to use that idea, iambowelfish.

So let's say I wrote a script for the comic, the very beginning there's some wild combat, tons of action. Ryan is barking commands at his partner, known as Julie as of right now. She's feeling un-adequate, attempts to impress Ryan and jumps out in front of a crowd of bad-guys(dunno what to call them yet). She gets shot, the wound looks fatal and there's blood everywhere. Then, flashback.

Then let's say I write a whole bunch of crap that happens leading up to this point and end the first illustration there, with a nice little cliff-hanger. Maybe it won't go exactly like that, but the general idea is I want to have someone become very, very wounded and then cut to a flashback. Almost like a QT script.

Dunno what you mean by QT, and I haven't watched enough Fururama to be familiar with Mom, but it sounds like you have a plan.

My suggestion would be that you don't leave it for too long before the story catches up with itself, as having that fixed point to aim for could be limiting from the point of view of developing the characters.

But then again I don't really know about these things, I was just trying to respond to the thread title.

+JuggerNaut+ wrote:

iambowelfish wrote:OK let's see if any of these ideas can re-invigorate your concept.

Ryan comes from a background of privilege, (hence the money for the fast cars and his vigilante armoury) but he hates this about himself, and keeps it from others. Basically he bites the hand that feeds him.

The partner should be neither tough, sassy nor overtly sexy. She lacks confidence, but might be able to make something of herself if Ryan didn't keep putting her down.

Ryan knows this and hates himself for treating her badly, but finds it difficult to change his behaviour. He hopes that his dangerous lifestyle will kill him and she will move on and find some nice guy to settle down with.

Of course all these things would be up for change as the story progresses.

Also the overlord should not be some glamourous whip-cracking dominatrix type but rather a self-serving old woman like Margaret Thatcher.

wouldn't it be great if you could patent that for 7 years?

You confuse me Juggernaut. I don't really know what you're inferring here. Is a little clarity too much to hope for?