Quake3World

Any of you play?

I have just been invited to a tourney for a friends birthday so I have little over 24 hours to learn. I have never played poker before. I realise I have very little chance of doing anything, but knowing the basics would be a good start. So where would you guys advise me to learn...and learn quickly? Simplicity is key people, fore I am a retard.

I've played a lot of poker.

They playing Texas Holdem? That's the most popular style these days.

If so, learn your hands and what beats what, you should find that on google.

Once you know that here's how it plays out.

betting: you bet each round, you can raise or call but if you re-raise you need to at least double the previous raise. Once everyone calls the next card is turned.

The cards come out like this. You get 2 cards, bet, then 3 cards are laid down face up. The idea is to get put together the highest 5 card hand using the cards that are up combined with the two cards in your hands. you bet again, 1 more card comes out called the turn card, bet again and then the final card comes out called the river and the final bets happen here.

Also, you can fold at any point.

strategy comes into play when you start trying to predict whether your opponent has a better hand than you. If you're good at reading peoples body language this comes in handy.

Otherwise ask me anything you want to know.

Κracus wrote:I've played a lot of poker.

lol, of course you have...

Donny, it's easy to pick up. Do a quick google search for beginner tips, and then I suggest hopping on one of the many online poker websites, just to get your feet wet. After that, you'll just have to learn how to read people, which is obviously impossible to do playing online...

yea thats all there is to it , u put the food in ur mouth, toothe it up, squish it down ur neck and hey

hunger solved!!

you're going to get raped

Definitely.

Just keep saying ALL IN in the most obnoxious voice you can muster. That works too.

xer0s wrote:

Κracus wrote:I've played a lot of poker.

lol, of course you have...

According to the Quake 3 residents I haven't done anything, ever.

Κracus wrote:I've played a lot of poker.

They playing Texas Holdem? That's the most popular style these days.

If so, learn your hands and what beats what, you should find that on google.

Once you know that here's how it plays out.

betting: you bet each round, you can raise or call but if you re-raise you need to at least double the previous raise. Once everyone calls the next card is turned.

The cards come out like this. You get 2 cards, bet, then 3 cards are laid down face up. The idea is to get put together the highest 5 card hand using the cards that are up combined with the two cards in your hands. you bet again, 1 more card comes out called the turn card, bet again and then the final card comes out called the river and the final bets happen here.

Also, you can fold at any point.

strategy comes into play when you start trying to predict whether your opponent has a better hand than you. If you're good at reading peoples body language this comes in handy.

Otherwise ask me anything you want to know.

fuck off

Κracus wrote:
According to the Quake 3 residents I haven't done anything, ever.

According to you, you've done everything multiple times...

Κracus wrote:Definitely.

Just keep saying ALL IN in the most obnoxious voice you can muster. That works too.

That seemed to work for me when I played my first ever game of poker. I ended up winning, then never played again.

On two separate occasions I've been dealt a Royal Flush in spades (no other cards needed) while playing five-car draw. Once was for money and the other was during a drinking game.

I doubt it'll ever happen again to me as long as I live.

I'm no poker genius but I can teach you how to shuffle cards while blind drunk.

Κracus wrote:According to the Quake 3 residents I haven't done anything, ever.

I'm sure everyone is in agreement that you've sucked a few dicks in your time, if that's any consolation.

my advice: just keep in mind the odds of getting a card or cards that would improve your hand enough to beat a solid pair and bet according to that.

I'm assuming you're playing Texas Hold'em since it's what all the kids are playing these days. There's no skill in luck, so focus on what you can manipulate: bluffing, reading and having some kind of deceiving in-game character. Whether that be a totally stone-face expression, a joker when normally you aren't, or whatever. The point is to throw people off your trail.

A badly timed bluff/bet will scare people away. What you want to do is lure them in, get them invested. You want to wedge them in a position where they've been calling your bets, but suddenly the cost to match you is too great. This is how you increase your clout. Don't bet high in the beginning rounds, even if you have a pair of aces. Lure them in with increasingly higher bets, then smack 'em where it hurts. You will never get ahead betting high except in the final rounds, where it's do or die. You can afford to be a bit wishy washy in the beginning.

Pay attention to how long people take to bet, where their eyes go, what they say and their general demeanor. Some folk will literally not say a word that isn't part of the game vernacular. Others will crack jokes, etc. Everyone has an in-game character, so it's your job to deduce what aspect of their playing style is being let on by their in-game character. I would say the hardest ones to read are the ones who wear sunglasses, never look from the board and never say a word that is not part of the game's natural process.

Furthermore, NEVER SHOW YOUR CARDS, unless the game rules dictate you to do so. Basically, the ONLY time you show your cards is if you are challenging another's hand. That's it. Don't do a mercy show, don't cave in to peer pressure, "oh, what did Donny just fold?? Let's see them cards!" Just put them face down back into the deck. Showing your cards when you don't need to merely informs the others of your betting style.

Don't be afraid to fuck people around, mix up your style. Show aggression when you have normally been passive and vice-versa. This is what sucks people in and scares people away.

All that being said... you will probably still get fucked if you've really never played before. It's still tons of fun, I used to have weekly matches with about six or seven buddies of mine. One of those guys entered a local tourney of a few hundred folk and came out the winner.

Best of luck!

I don't play poker, but I assume bluffing is a lot like trolling. To that end, as someone who posts here regularly, you'll do fine. You are in your element, be one with the troll.

However, since this is your first time playing and if you guys are playing for cash, limit the amount of money you keep in your wallet and whatever you do, keep your keys off the table - you still need to get home even if you lose.

I have won many local tounaments.
the trick is fold fold fold if you have shit cards, if you keep playing bad cards and you money will soon be gone.
the best tip of all is that your a terrible bluffer.

just remember: 7/2 => all in

I played poker twice. The first time i had no idea of the rules and said "All in!!" twice because i heard someone say that once, then promptly lost. The second time i had a slight idea of the rules and i pretended to understand nearly nothing and not caring whether i would win or lose (it wasn't hard, i understand and cared only slightly more than i showed) and infuriated everyone by winning.

Never played again, because honestly i find it fucking boring.

Thanks for all your tips - I have no clue and I fully expect to get fucked but if I can win just one round I'll be happy.

I will report back and let you know how I did

read a poker guide, first timers really do well for some dumb reason.

axbaby wrote:read a poker guide, first timers really do well for some dumb reason.

Because of their unpredictability. Veteran players know how to judge situations and act accordingly. That means another veteran player can have an idea of how that first player is going to respond. With noobs, it doesn't work like that because the noob can do the strangest things which makes it very hard for a veteran to anticipate the course of the game.

So my newbieness can be to my advantage? Hmmmm....

Sometimes, A good rule of thumb is be cautious and ONLY play your hand when you have jacks or better in your hand, OR possibly if you have a pair in hand. Anything else is rubbish and statistically speaking you're more likely to lose.

Kracus used to play poker with Emilio Estevez.

Kracus once again spouting off about things he knows nothing about.