Anyone been a best man???
Posted: Tue May 10, 2005 9:48 pm
Well i have missed the top spot from someones wedding as i wouldnt have had the balls to go and do a speech nore would i,
if i managed to get to the table correctly, beed able to give a
speech with out mortally offendning just about everyone there
as its a somewhat "religous wedding" i.e. He's religous and
so is his wife to be and all her family.
What u think of my story for my mate?
Jon is by enlarge, a bit of a party animal. Nothing proves this more than the numerous times he has been out about in TJ's. A fine Newport establishment, I’m sure you will all agree. If you don’t know what TJ's is, then you need to get out of Church more, and stop nailing people to crosses. Although his hell razing are well and truly over at the ripe old age of 21 there was once a time where he could, by all accounts, handle up to and including 4 entire pints. After one particular encounter with some hard liquor and a abit of the bishop’s finger (a fine ale for those who don’t know) he wasn’t in the best of states. Upon finding some light in the darkness that is TJ's he managed to negotiate his way past the bouncers, for a small fee no doubt, and proceeded to a find a rather magnificent puddle, that had been waiting for the right sort of drunkard to wallow in. Well, it seems it was both the puddles and indeed Jon's lucky day!! Upon seeing the rather pleasant puddle lit up with the finest natural moon light, he decided that he was going to take the needed, if not slightly drastic action of parking his buttocks into the aforementioned glistening pool of liquid. After Jon had positioned himself in a slightly moist, yet strangely relaxing pool he became quiet inquisitive of what he had consumed in the evening. “Eureka!” he exclaimed with a slurred voice that sounded absolutely nothing like the famous and extremely intelligent man that had first said it. I know. I can find out exactly what I had t drink in 2 different ways. I could go and ask the people that have been out of me or I could just, take a quick peek. As found out, Jon didn’t have that much in common with old Archimedes and shared the entire contents of his stomach with himself and the now somewhat sodden cheeks that were attached to the lower half of him. Many hours past in the drunken world of Jon and his puddle. (it turned out to be about 25 minutes in real time) The damp rose through his jeans and his stomach content dried and crusted, leaving a film in the parts of the puddle he wasn’t occupying and voices came and went. A large sudden jolt was felt by the now soggy rambling drunk fool that was Jon as either friends or family rescued him from the labyrinth that had been created inside his head, and pocket while fumbling for change for a bus home. Buses stopped 3 hours ago and were not due to resume for another 5. He was taken home along with a large amount of puddle and put to bed. I believe that this is a night that Jon can really look back on and think, “ I cant remember any of that”.
The Best man in question has other things but i was asked
to put something towards it...that good enough?
if i managed to get to the table correctly, beed able to give a
speech with out mortally offendning just about everyone there
as its a somewhat "religous wedding" i.e. He's religous and
so is his wife to be and all her family.
What u think of my story for my mate?
Jon is by enlarge, a bit of a party animal. Nothing proves this more than the numerous times he has been out about in TJ's. A fine Newport establishment, I’m sure you will all agree. If you don’t know what TJ's is, then you need to get out of Church more, and stop nailing people to crosses. Although his hell razing are well and truly over at the ripe old age of 21 there was once a time where he could, by all accounts, handle up to and including 4 entire pints. After one particular encounter with some hard liquor and a abit of the bishop’s finger (a fine ale for those who don’t know) he wasn’t in the best of states. Upon finding some light in the darkness that is TJ's he managed to negotiate his way past the bouncers, for a small fee no doubt, and proceeded to a find a rather magnificent puddle, that had been waiting for the right sort of drunkard to wallow in. Well, it seems it was both the puddles and indeed Jon's lucky day!! Upon seeing the rather pleasant puddle lit up with the finest natural moon light, he decided that he was going to take the needed, if not slightly drastic action of parking his buttocks into the aforementioned glistening pool of liquid. After Jon had positioned himself in a slightly moist, yet strangely relaxing pool he became quiet inquisitive of what he had consumed in the evening. “Eureka!” he exclaimed with a slurred voice that sounded absolutely nothing like the famous and extremely intelligent man that had first said it. I know. I can find out exactly what I had t drink in 2 different ways. I could go and ask the people that have been out of me or I could just, take a quick peek. As found out, Jon didn’t have that much in common with old Archimedes and shared the entire contents of his stomach with himself and the now somewhat sodden cheeks that were attached to the lower half of him. Many hours past in the drunken world of Jon and his puddle. (it turned out to be about 25 minutes in real time) The damp rose through his jeans and his stomach content dried and crusted, leaving a film in the parts of the puddle he wasn’t occupying and voices came and went. A large sudden jolt was felt by the now soggy rambling drunk fool that was Jon as either friends or family rescued him from the labyrinth that had been created inside his head, and pocket while fumbling for change for a bus home. Buses stopped 3 hours ago and were not due to resume for another 5. He was taken home along with a large amount of puddle and put to bed. I believe that this is a night that Jon can really look back on and think, “ I cant remember any of that”.
The Best man in question has other things but i was asked
to put something towards it...that good enough?
