Quake3World

game?

later

(got torrents on)

never miss an opertunity to make an icon eh?

Unless i'm not on.

This one should be preserved for prosperity

U4EA wrote:Seriously, that bit with "I Will Avenge You" was so freaking insane. I was just sitting there going wow, look at the fucker go. You were like the Duracell bunny or something .. an axe wielding maniacal Duracell bunny.

And this one

mjrpes wrote:

U4EA wrote:I've always been under the impression that dogs had poor eyesight and depth perception (they're colorblind as well) which is why they rely a lot more on their sense of smell.

but from a darwinian perspective a dog better know wtf a ledge is.

!

copy and paste time

Deciding that they needed a few hours of vacation from Heaven, God and Jesus went down to earth to play some golf. Going into the last hole, which was a difficult par 5, they are par for par. Jesus walks up to the tee, swings, and makes a beautiful 200 yard drive. Another shot takes him up onto the green and with a final 20-foot shot, sinks the ball for a birdie.

God stood there looking thoughtful, then scratched his head, and finally steps up to the tee. He pulls back, hits the ball, and watches it as it cuts to the left and goes straight into the woods.

About that time, a squirrel stuck its head out of its nest in a old tree only to be struck squarely between the eyes with a golf ball. Knocked senseless with the ball lodge between its ears, the squirrel falls towards the ground and lands on a rabbit. Startled, the rabbit takes off out of the woods and straight onto the green. Just as it gets close to the cup, an eagle swoops out of sky and grabs the rabbit with the squirrel still on its back. The eagle begins circling back up into the heavens when a bolt of lightening streaks out of the cloudless sky and strikes the eagle dead. The eagle's prey plummets towards the green below, and as the rabbit with the squirrel on its back bounces off the ground for a second time, the golf ball dislodges from between the squirrels ears. The ball rolls across the green getting closer and closer to the cup. It then sits precariously on the lip of the cup for a few seconds and then finally falls in.

Jesus looks over at God and says , "Come on, Dad. Are you going to fuck around, or are you going to play golf?"

There where 3 nuns on a train and they had been talking for some time when they decided to pass the time they decided to tell each other what their greatest sins where.

The first nun got up and said, "My greatest sin is sex. Every year I go out for a week and become a prostitute. Of course I put all the money I earn in the poor box but that is my greatest sin."

The second nun got up and said, "My greatest sin is drinking. Every year I the money out of the poor box and drink for one consecutive week."

The third nun was sitting there being very quite. The other nuns say "come now we told you our worst sins, what is yours."

The third nun got up and said, "My greatest sin is that I am a gossip and I can't wait to get off this train."

The seven dwarfs are in Rome and they go on a tour of the city. After a while they go to the Vatican and meet the pope. Grumpy, for once, seems to have a lot to say; he keeps asking the pontiff questions about the church, and in particular, nuns.

"Your Holiness, do you have any really short nuns?"

"No, my son, all our nuns are at least five feet tall."

"Are you sure? I mean, you wouldn't have any nuns that are, say, about my height? Maybe a little shorter?"

"I'm afraid not. Why do you ask?"

"No reason." Pause. "Positive? Nobody in a habit that's about three feet tall, two and a half feet tall?"

"I'm sure."

"Okay."

Grumpy looks dejected at this news, and the pope wonders why. So he listens to the dwarfs as they leave the building.

"What'd he say? What'd he say?" chant the other six dwarfs.

Grumpy says, "He said they don't have any."

And the other six start chanting, "Grumpy fucked a penguin! Grumpy fucked a penguin! Grumpy fucked a penguin!"

There was a fly flying 6 inches above a lake.

A fish in the lake thinks, "If that fly dropped 6 inches I'd get it!"

A bear on land thinks, "If that fly dropped 6 inches, the fish would jump out of the water, and I'd get it!"

A hunter thinks, "If that fly drops 6 inches, the fish would jump, the bear will go to get the fish, and I'll shoot the bear"

A mouse thinks, "If that fly drops 6 inches, the fish would jump, the bear would go to get the fish, the hunter will go to get the bear, and I'll steal the cheese off his sandwich!"

A cat thinks, "If that fly drops 6 inches, the fish would jump, the bear would go to get the fish, the hunter will go to get the bear, the mouse will go get the cheese, and I'll get that mouse!"

Suddenly it all happened, the fly dropped 6 inches, the fish got the fly, the bear got the fish, the hunter got the bear, the mouse got the hunter's cheese, but the cat missed the mouse and fell in the water. The moral of this story is ...

"Every time time a fly drops 6 inches, a pussy gets wet"

<img src="http://tinypic.com/654z6t">

someones bored, or was bored

I'm confused by the golf joke. Shouldn't Jesus have gotten an eagle on that hole?

werldhed wrote:I'm confused by the golf joke. Shouldn't Jesus have gotten an eagle on that hole?

Don't blame the paster

You're fighting The Naughty Sorceress


You burst into the final room in the Naughty Sorceress' lair. There, sitting on a huge black throne on a huge black dais, is the Sorceress Herself.
Nothing could have prepared you for how evilly seductive and seductively evil she is. Even though she appears to have bought her wardrobe from Warm Subject -- black leather corset, black leather dress, black leather crown in her long black (not leather) hair, she is a vision of pure malevolent naughtiness.

"Congratulations, adventurer," she says. "You finally made it to me. Now you may know the truth."

"The truth?" You say. "I can't handle the truth! You're the cause of all of this! The monsters, the quests, the bad puns... you did it all! You're so...so...naughty!"

The Sorceress shrugs. "I may be bad," she says, "But I feel gooood. Now, are you sure you really want to fight me? Do you really want to hurt me? q3w_survivor... I am your mother!"

"No... it's not true! It's impossible!" You shout.

"Search your feelings... you know it to be true," she says.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! IT'S NOT POSSIBLE!" you shout, raising your arms to the sky.

The sorceress cackles. "Well, that was over the top. And I'm not really your mother, stupid. Geez, I could tell you that all your fighting power comes from some lame micro-organism in your bloodstream and you'd believe it. Come up here on the dais and I'll rock you like a hurricane."

"On the dais? On the dais? Rock me on the dais?" You say, enraged. "That's it. Call me the bus driver, because I'm taking you to school." You leap up on the dais for the final battle.


The Sorceress points at you and a beam of very sticky light bursts out of her finger. It strikes you and you suddenly feel very, very normal.


She points at Dracula and mutters a curse. Dracula whimpers.

The Sorceress points at you and a beam of blue light shoots out of her middle finger.

"Thanks for the pick-me-up," she says, as you feel energy drain from your body.

You lose 17 Mana Points.

You're fighting The Naughty Sorceress

You summon a Geyser of Alfredo Sauce, which erupts beneath your opponent for 83 damage.
Dracula attempts to stab her, but misses.


You win the fight!


The Sorceress falls to her knees as the final blow lands.

"Graaaaaah!" she cries. "Seriously."

A cloud of black mist begins to gather about her as she writhes on the floor...

You're fighting The Naughty Sorceress (2)


The mist obscures her completely, before parting to reveal a hideous apparition. It's got more fangs and tentacles than an anime convention. You feel vaguely like a Japanese schoolgirl.
"Behold my true form, adventurer, and behold it well, for it is the last thing you will ever behold!"

"Hold on a minute," you say. "I'm not beholden to behold anything, you hideous creature!"

"You found me beautiful, once..." she says.

"Honey, you got real ugly. Yo, she-bitch! Let's go!"


She cooks you up a nice spaghetti breakfast. Sounds good, but it really, really hurts. Argh! Ugh! Argh! Ouch! Oof! Argh!

You lose 28 hit points.